Where Do Opinions Come From?
Why do people have such strong opinions about things that do not affect them? Many people will stand by their opinion on issues that have nothing to do with them at all. Whether the situation goes their way or the opposite way, that person would not be impacted positively or negatively by that occurrence, but they still won’t budge.
Other people will have opinions that they say repeatedly but when put to the test they disregard ever saying that opinion in the first place, or excuse it by trying to claim that the situation they were just put in is different. For example, a parent may say that they are perfectly fine with people of the queer community until their child brings home someone of the same gender. Some people will say that they never claimed to be okay with it in the first place, or that it is different because this is part of their family. Quite frankly, this does not actually affect them other than how they interpret it in their mind.
Sometimes, people will change their opinion on a daily basis or it will change depending on the situation. One day, they could be perfectly fine with children playing video games, then they will say later that children who play video games are going to become useless members of society. Or their kid can play video games, but other kids aren’t allowed because they play different games.
Other people will agree with whatever opinion is most dominant in the setting. I see this mostly in classroom discussions, where people who voice an opposing opinion or a question that other people deem weird, the less popular opinion-holder will be forced to be quiet about any future deviant statements so they do not face social or academic repercussions. This is particularly unhelpful in situations of debates that are meant to have people disagree and think critically.
So why is it that opinions are flexible for some people and stubbornly rigid for others? I think that it may be a result of what we have grown up with. Mannerisms and habits often transcend generations, as seen in intergenerational trauma or addictions, and the same thing may happen when children are growing up and learning how to formulate opinions. When children hear people talking, their minds begin to pick up on some trends. This could be how words are stringed together or what topics are most frequently discussed. They can also pick up how people talk about certain topics. Individual habits often coincide or clash with the speaking habits of family members they most often interact with. If one is a particularly dominant conversation-starter, their parent or sibling may have also been lively. If someone is fairly quiet, they could have had a role model who was calm as well.
The ways that people talk about their opinions may be more contrasted by than similar to the behaviors of their families. For example, if a parent has always been very strong with their opinions, a child may learn to agree in order to prevent an argument. If a parent encourages listening to every opinion, the child may learn that they can say what they are feeling at the moment without receiving opposition.
Everyone’s opinion is valuable, but positions on major topics are usually supported by information related to it. If you look for information against your thesis, you can also think about whether those sources make sense or if they can be disproved. When you listen to other people talk about things, your communicating skills will also improve, meaning that you can gain a stronger support for your opinion by hearing from other perspectives. More people will believe you if you coherently support your ideas than if you just assume that you are right. If you want to become good at creating, voicing, and changing your opinions or ideas, try listening to other people or read other works in the area. Maybe your opinion will change, maybe it will stay the same, but at least now you will have support for your decision.